I have this insatiable urge to go against who you are and just screwing with it, but you can't. All around me, I see, hear and just plain basically perceive, people who do it. Every nerve in my body wants to do it, but my miind is scaring me to bits about losing my soul.
Yeah, I know that's harsh. I don't mean that people who do it don't have souls. I bet you do. I bet you love the person you're doing it with, too. Maybe.
But Mr. Palmer isn't cutting out as he used to be.
First of all, Mr. Palmer doesn't have a mouth. Mr. Palmer doesn't have a tongue. Mr Palmer doesn't call me by name. Mr. Palmer can't kiss my neck or lick my ear and Mr. Palmer can never hug or hold me while we're doing it.
Secondly, Mr. Palmer doesn't cuddle after we do it. Mr. Palmer will not tell me I was great. Mr. Palmer will not ask me to try diffferent things. Mr. Palmer doesn't have room for improvements. Mr. palmeer will only do what I ask him to do. Mr. Palmer will never be spontaneous.
Everyday I'm cheating on Mr. Palmer. Every cute guy I see on the street, sit beside to on the bus, or see at work looks like a great replacement for Mr. Palmer. I start imagining these people naked and doing what Mr. Palmer ought to be doing.
But in the end, it will be Mr. Palmer I go to bed with. He was my first partner, and perhaps will be my lifetime partner if I believe what someone told me a while ago.
He said "Maybe the universe has other plans for you."
Which I interpret as "You're never gonna get laid, you dimwit; just get a life you f*ckin' idiot."
And I do get a better life than most people i know. I have kids I never helped conceive, People adore me to a point that makes me sick, and people do want me. The problem is wanting most of them back.
And I have Mr. Palmer.
All I neeed to do is give Mr. Palmer looks and personality.
Let's see... Mr. Palmer is tall and buffed. He can look nice and clean with a hint of a 5 o'clock shadow in a suit and tie, or as grimy as a grease monkey in a tank top and whitey tighties. He has a huge cock... about the size of my index finger and ring fingers put together. He sucks really good. He rams my dick far inside his imaginary throat. Mr. Palmer swallows. He likes my cum. He is an excellent bootom, and he knows how to apply the right pressure in the right places. He doesnt mind seconds, or long slow fucks. I've never sucked his dick. I just imagimed it looked the same as mine.
All this description is worthless, since I can simply change my mind and change his appearance.
Mr Palmer is smart. But not too smart for me. His First name is Jack and his middle name is Colby, which makes his Full name Jack Colby Palmer.
I'm tired of Mr. Palmer. He doesn't even have the warmth of a human being.
But I'm stuck with him because "The universe has a different plan for me."
With all due respect, the "universe" doesn't need to get laid.