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Monday, May 17, 2010

Everybody Deserves What They Get

We may not know it, but we usually get what we deserve. I personally abhor it when people say, "I don't deserve what I'm getting," and although I myself had been heard giving such a statement, it is simply not true. It might even imply we think too highly of ourselves and become self-righteous. I'll tell you why in a minute.

If you closely consider every single 'cause and effect' that led to a mishap, you will find out that there was one ultimate reason why you deserved something bad. It could be a behavior. It could be preference. I smoke, so if I have respiratory problems or I get severe colds, or even if I become terminally ill because of it, there would not be anyone else to blame.

When someone dies of a vehicular accident, we usually find out the person was drunk, or texting while driving, or was sleeping.

If I weren't getting dates, or if I am rejected over and over because of my weight problem, I usually say, "I have done everything: I go to the gym, I diet, there is food I selectively avoid because they are fattenning;" but I eat 2 full helpings of rice to a deep-fried meal of whatever, and I am to blame. No drug ever created can change it permanently. I will subject myself to addiction to it until it becomes prohibited, and will claim I will gain weight instantly once the miracle drug is gone. Not only is my weight problem the cause of my inability to feel and become attractive, but my stubborness, laziness and one-tracked mind is making me unattractive as well.

I have a sister who is a chronic crash-diet victim. While in the mall, we saw a group of men assembling a treadmill in front of a sports store. I jested, "That's the only thing you need to complete our home gym/museum of athletics!" She winced at me and proceeded to walk towards the supermarket.

We get mad when we don't get what we want and we start blaming the next person we see, or the immediate person we see connected with our misfortunes. We blame God, black cats, our horoscopes, hexes, walking under ladders, traffic, and yes, the president. Notice that we blame the traffic for making us late, our work for stressing us out, and the weather for creating our mood swings.

When I took up a class in psychology, accidents are cause by a series of events, I was told, that contributes to a mishap. Also, it holds true the Murphy's Law, "If something is bound to happen, it will."

I believe when someone says, "I don't deserve this," they are generally in denial. Their minds block what is scientific, and oddly though, it is the time they start thinking "outside of the box" to find another probable cause apart from themselves.

It is another person's blame. I did not finish the course I wanted to take because my father wanted me to become a chemist, while I wanted to become a writer (I actually took up Pharmacy to compromise, in the hopes of using it as a pre-med course). I could have taken his preferred course for me, get a 9 to 5 job as quality analyst or a manager for a big Pharmaceutical company, or work as a Hospital Pharmacist, and hated it, and him, my entire life, or I could have done what I am doing right now, blogging.

My point is I have hated my father for so many years not being able to do what I loved best, and it had prevented me from doing what I can do best because i was busy rationalizing that it was his fault, his blame.

I could have also told him upfront that eventhough it was his money sending me to school, it is my life, and I will work for the life |i wanted with or without his help... But I was 17 and lazy. I wouldn't have sustained it.

I deserved those 5 awful years in college. I deserved those failing grades because I did not want to work hard for a course i did not love. I deserved that I did not become a successful writer despite my choice of profession because I did not blieve they coexisted in the same plane. It was all me. My father simply told me, and I followed anyway. We ended up giving each other grief until he died in 2004.

Everyone gets what they deserve. We deserve global warming because we didn't  take care of the environment. We deserve illness because we do not take care of ourselves. We create our own destiny. It is how we are made. We make ourselves.

We drive ourselves crazy, not other people. If we are level headed and sensible, no person in the face of the planet can make us go mad. If you don't want something, then you can change it.

I realized only recently (actually, just now), that if I truly want to be happy, I have to stop my addiction of playing victim. They say the closest person to you wounds you the worst. That person is yourself.


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